Kim Kardashian Responds
“I’m a threat to them,” said secular regressive leader Dr. Ben Carson to Fox News last October. Carson was speaking about his presumed foes in the white media and its the dominant American culture, secular progressivism.
“We’re afraid of him for sure,” responded secular progressive leader Kim Kardashian, from her fabulous hide-out in Beverly Hills, California. “But only like you’d be afraid of a blind guy driving a car.”
A news story in the Wall Street Journal called into question yet another incident in Dr. Carson’s autobiography. Dr. Carson has called the story further evidence of biased treatment in the media.
His followers appear to agree, loudly: By the end of that week, the Carson campaign announced they had received an additional $3.5 million in contributions. Luckily, it did no good.
Kim Kardashian responds to Ben Carson’s fabrications
Kardashian said Carson’s history of gaffes, misstatements, historical fabrications and lies amply documents his poor decision-making abilities.
“He’s running for president of the United States,” posited the pulchritudinous philosopher. Kardashian spoke with the Associated Press while reclining on her $950,000 sofa designed by Yoko Ono.
Kardashian and her husband Kanye West recently announced plans to establish themselves as leading secular progressive philosophers (“Whatever that is,” said Kim.) in preparation for West’s planned run for the presidency in 2020.
“Kimmy a philosopher? Well, it makes as much sense as electing a guy with no political experience whatsoever to the White House,” observed Kardashian’s mother, Kris Jenner. Kim’s other mother, Caitlyn Jenner, who used to be her father Olympic athlete Bruce Jenner, declined comment.
“I’m a conservative Republican so I’m staying out of this confusion,” she? replied with a giggle.
With more than 20 million weekly viewers, generating almost a billion dollars in annual sales from clothing alone, Kardashian’s secular empire makes her an obvious social leader, she asserted, then expanded on her dismissal of the fading candidate Dr. Carson.
“You don’t need to be perfect, no one is, but you need to show how you deal with disappointment,” the reality show star said. “How does Dr. Carson handle someone who disrespects him? Does he throw a tantrum and do nothing? Correctly responding to new situations without anger, but with direct, problem-solving actions is what you need in a president.”
Kardashian’s husband and fellow secular progressive spokesman rap star Kanye West agreed.
“Blaming your critics when you’re being criticized is not being responsive. It’s being defensive. It looks weak,” said West.
GOP front-runner Donald Trump declined comment on the fracas except to note that in 2010 Kardashian had asked him to marry her.
“I might have said yes, she was pretty hot back then. But I had my eyes on my daughter Ivanka.”
“If a guy with no political experience can become president, why can’t we become philosophers?” asked Kimye.