Angry that he was opposed by a woman in his last campaign, Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke, former Republican Congressman from Montana/Santa Barbara, has announced a new federal program to arm Montana’s grade school children.
“I don’t think it’s a coincidence that eight-year-olds in Montana go to school each day without their God$-given Second Amendment weapons. My opponent, the so-called Superintendent of Public Instruction, must have made it so,” Zinke told Little Big Town MT in a telephone interview. “She was only interested in teaching elitist lessons like the ABCs.”
“If even one of those six-year-olds at Sandy Hook Elementary had had a small pistol, they could have stopped a bad guy in his tracks,” Zinke said.
“We’ve got to fight gun control everywhere, even in grade school,” said Zinke, a lifelong member of the National Rifle Association as well as a four-year member of its Charlton Heston Marching Band and Harmonica Society.
When reelected in November, Zinke said he would introduce a law in the 2017 session to arm children as young as kindergartners.
“We’ve got to put more guns everywhere, even in grade school.”
Since his appointment to President Tweety Bird‘s Cabinet, Zinke has passed his proposal on to fellow Republican Sen. Steve Daines. Daines will introduce ‘HR 344/SB2290, Guns For Kids’, which would mandate federal distribution of guns to every school in Montana grades 1-8. Each desk in the state would be outfitted with its own Smith and Wesson .22 pistol.
“They’re only .22s, but these are children, they’re like Coast Guardsmen, they probably don’t have enough strength to hold anything bigger,” explained Zinke.
“I’m not crazy. I know the problems people have with this,” he laughed. “People want their kids to have the biggest and the best. Well, you have to be practical. You have to take a shooter’s physical capabilities into consideration. Some of these little girls in Second Grade only weigh 40 or 50 pounds. They couldn’t possibly lift an 8-pound weapon like the Bushmaster XM15-E2S. I know, I was a Navy Seal.”
“Guns for kids! What could go wrong?” asked Zinke. “The only people against it are the gun-grabbers, the gun control pussies.”