Boy Scout Zinke Guards His Nuts From Squirrel

Boy Scout Zinke Guards His Nuts From Squirrel

Der Furor Poops on Miss America Once Again

Is this the incident that drove Rex Tillerson bonkers?

Last July, the guy in the White House spoke to an audience of Boy Scouts at their annual jamboree. In what is traditionally an inspirational salute to common moral decency and shared American values, Der Furor once again dropped his trousers and took a shit on Miss America.

Trump used the occasion to brag about himself. Surprise. After saying who needs to talk about politics, he talked about politics. Surprise.

He used a crowd of 40,000 Boy Scouts to boo his political opponent in the last election, and insult the last president. Surprise.

He used the Boy Scouts to threaten his own now-disgraced Health and Human Services Secretary Tom “Toad” Price with firing if the Senate did not pass the health care bill he himself could not be bothered to read or promote. Surprise.

And finally, he used the occasion to brag about his sex life. That was not just a surprise, but a Noble-nominating-surprise, since the brag came hidden inside an undeserved insult to a dead but influential New York developer. That final assault on moral decency came in his lines about rich guys and yachts and how he’s “not” going to tell 40,000 boys about what rich guys do on yachts but they “know life. You know life.” You know where he’s going. He wants to talk about having sex with the ladies, or as Der Furor would put it, nailing broads. It’s all about pussy with Der Furor. Why not brag about your sex life in front of children?

Was this outrage what caused our Secretary of State to man up and call his boss a moron?

Remember when these guys made fun of Hillary Clinton for using the word deplorable?

 

Traitor Trump gets Impaled by Vlad

Traitor Trump gets Impaled by Vlad

Der Furor Receives Orders to Collect Voter Info from Boss Putin

 

Russian agent Donald Trump used a meeting with world leaders to collect further instructions from his Moscow puppet-master Vladimir Putin.

The meeting occurred in full view of the public earlier this July in Berlin.

“Der Furor is secure that the blatancy of his betrayal will be excused by his 36-percenter minions,” declared Vice President Mike Pence, not really knowing why.

“The people who voted for me are very, very loyal and very, very stupid. Exactly as Steve said they would be,” Trump explained, referring to a policy devised by his neo-Nazi former advisor and fired UnterFuror, Steve Bannon.

Following those orders just this week, Traitor Trump initiated the Soviet, I mean, Russian instructions on how to track down and punish all his opponents.

On Thursday, July 19, the Mad King gave new orders to his henchmen to collect the names, addresses, phone numbers and online names of every voter in America.

The information is scheduled to be handed over to UnterFuror Chris Kobach who will then pass the information along to his cyberthugs.

“Dick and pussy pictures,” promised Kobach with a wicked laugh. “It’s amazing how many people you can hurt with pussy  and dick shots showing up in their Facebook profile.”

“After that, the concentration camps will be built,” said Trump. “They will be beautiful, absolutely beautiful camps, let me tell you. They’ll be made in America, too. The inmates will build them. They’ll be free. I mean, no money, the inmates will work for them. Work makes you free.”

“Work makes you free! I like that,” laughed Bannon from the bottom of an apple barrel.