What kind of a Man Cheats Little Children? This kind.
By Lance Grider
The parable of the Unjust Steward is found at the beginning of Luke 16 and it goes like this:
Jesus told his disciples:
There was a rich man whose manager was accused of wasting his possessions. So he called him in and asked him, ‘What is this I hear about you? Give an account of your management, because you cannot be my manager any longer.’
The manager said to himself, ‘What shall I do now? My master is taking away my job. I’m not strong enough to dig, and I’m ashamed to beg— I know what I’ll do so that, when I lose my job here, people will welcome me into their houses.’
So he called in each one of his master’s debtors. He asked the first, ‘How much do you owe my master?’
‘Nine hundred gallons of olive oil,’ he replied.
The manager told him, ‘Take your bill, sit down quickly, and make it four hundred and fifty.’
Then he asked the second, ‘And how much do you owe?’
‘A thousand bushels of wheat,’ he replied.
He told him, ‘Take your bill and make it eight hundred.’
The master commended the dishonest manager because he had acted shrewdly. For the people of this world are more shrewd in dealing with their own kind than are the people of the light. (NIV)
To sum up: A successful businessman tells his manager he’s going to fire him – but not until later, when he comes back from Cabo San Lucas or wherever. Until then, the manager figures that by cheating his boss, he’ll suck up to the boss’s creditors.
When he returns, instead of fireworks from his double-crossed boss, instead of punching him like a good entrepreneur, the guy shakes his hand and congratulates him. He’s a good businessman — he knows how to cheat people.
It’s an odd notion of profit that was fabulously popular in the Roman era. It assumes business deals involve two sides–a winner and a loser. You can find examples of merchants being cast as crooks are all over the Bible. They are also easy to find in contemporary Roman writers like Pliny the Younger. If you made a profit on a deal it was because you cheated someone. Adam Smith‘s labor theory of value, the notion that objects gain value through exchange and work, is seventeen centuries in the future.
Weirdly, there are people in the world today who hold this ancient if irrational prejudice. One of them is the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington, D.C.
For the real Donald J. Trump (Der Furor), you’re either a winner or a loser. His business ideal and heathen idol is not John Galt, it is Mr. Haney of Green Acres. You don’t have customers, you have suckers.
That’s why Der Furor had no problem cheating three little girls. In January 2016, three cute little moppets calling themselves “America’s Freedom Kids” danced their way onto one of Trump’s braunschweiger rallies. Trump’s management promised to pay them $2,500. They didn’t get it. Instead, they were told they could sell their cutie-pie merchandise. But they didn’t get to do that either.
Last July their manager finally gave up and decided, like so many other Der Furor debtors, he had to file a lawsuit.
Is it really any wonder that Der Furor would cheat three little girls? He cheated on all three of his wives.
Mr. Haney didn’t have customers, he had suckers.
Der Furor rules America by a slim plurality, 40 percent. Twenty-five percent are his foundation votes, Dittoheads, who will only vote for rich white males. He recruited a deciding 15 percent more, voters less politically involved, just still looking for hope and change. Joe and Jo Threekids, who just want a decent job and strong economy. They have yet to realize that, like Der Furor told the surprised workers of Carrier, all his talk about jobs was just a ‘euphenism‘. He’s starting trade wars and building byootyful walls. That’s it. That’s all he knows what to do. It didn’t work for him, why would it work for president him? Buyer’s remorse looms across the land, at least that’s the loomer I’ve heard.
Der Furor thinks he’s the winner in the deal with America. Everyone else is the loser.
The Amoral Narcissist who now inhabits the office of Barack Obama, Ronald Reagan, John F. Kennedy, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln, Donald “Jackass” Trump stunned the nation last February 28 when he refrained from unbelting his fashionable bespoke Chinese pants and shitting on the floor of Congress like the bored bonobo monkey he most frequently resembles. Astonished members of Congress were quick to praise the pathological liar and popular vote loser for acting the way normal, decent people always behave.
“I had bet $50 that he would drop trou and squeeze out a tootsie roll in the first minute,” said Paul Ryan (R-McCarthyite Wisconsin), Speaker of the House of Representatives. “I mean, Breitbart.com basically told us that’s what Washington needs. What self-control!”
“I was whelmed,” admitted Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-CSA),. “I thought I spotted his butt-tocks briefly, but it was only Rush Limbaugh greeting Stephen Miller.”
Members of the sycophant press were delighted to be asked their shallow, worthless opinions.
“Once again, President Jackass displayed a remarkable unpredictability,” said Steve Doocy of Fox and Friends. “He was amazing. He managed to make it through a whole 88 minutes without insulting a single woman, or grabbing anyone’s vagina, or calling a woman Pocahontas. He hasn’t done any of that for a week now.”
Still, there remain plenty of reasons to be skeptical about any Kafkaesque metamorphosis of our national disgrace.
President Jackass is still an amoral narcissist. He is still a pathological liar. He still cheats children out of their wages. He is still suspected of being secretly owned by Russian dictator Vladimir Putin, as his hidden taxes will reveal.
President Jackass is still completely ignorant of nearly every skill needed to be an effective leader. He just discovered this week that healthcare reform is hard. Who knew that, except for millions of us grown-ups?
Still, he managed to promise $54 billion in expensive and unnecessary spending on a military that no one wants, including the military. He still managed to promise our economy will grow by building walls against trade and peoples, and by arbitrarily imposing special taxes on American companies who defy him. He still managed to encourage Americans to dwell in hatred and fear.
And he still hasn’t apologized to former President Barack Obama for lying about his birth certificate for five years.
All in all, the stink is still in the rug.
Well, one of them anyway. Ward 1 Councilman Mike Yakawich is a bona fide card-carrying member of the Unification Church, better known as the “Moonies,” in honor of their founder and savior, the late Rev. Sun Myung Moon.
My other Ward 1 councilman, Brent Cromley, is probably a Lutheran or a Catholic or a Baptist or something. Meh.
Mr. Cromley voted for the recent Non Discrimination Ordinance in Billings. Mr. Yakawich voted against it.
This strikes me as odd, since Pastor Mike belongs to a controversial sect who believe they are a persecuted minority.
Originally called the “Holy Spirit Association for the Unification of World Christianity,” the cult’s church’s present formal name is the “Family Federation for World Peace and Unification.”
Moonies became notorious in the 1970s and 1980s through their odd public behaviors, which including clouds of teenagers aggressively panhandling. In addition there mass weddings, where thousands of complete strangers were assigned a life partner after they were “celestially chosen” for each other by the Rev. Moon, that is.
Moon became notorious for how he made money: By exploiting children, many of them homeless, in the US and Europe, but especially in Asia.
Moonies believes Jesus Christ was a nice guy but a failure. He failed to get himself a wife and have a family. Instead he got himself crucified to forgive everybody’s sins. What a loser.
Luckily, members of the Unification Church believe Father Moon is the second coming of Christ.
After all, like Jesus on the cross he suffered too. And not some measly three days on the cross, but 13 months in the federal pokey for tax evasion.
It seems odd that someone who belongs to such a controversial cult church should have the stones to throw at others people’s lifestyles. But this is Billings and we don’t discriminate?
More importantly, we should discriminate between good and bad.
WARNING: Persons reading this article, or any other article critical of Our Dear Leader, may be subject to arrest.
We here at Little Big Town Montana have no problems admitting when we’ve lost. What’s harder to take is when your country is lost.
The real Donald J. Trump (RDJT) is a liar and a crook. President Jackass is a man without honor or morality. No dis, just fact.
Over the past year RDJT repeatedly confessed how annoyed he is by going to church. Preachers are always demanding he beg for God’s forgiveness. What for? He never does anything wrong.
People of authentic faith spot the error in that sentence immediately. It’s blasphemy, an out-of-fashion morality based on the antique notion that man is inferior to God and deserves a good smack when he pretends otherwise.
Yet of all the pundits, churchmen and journalists covering the campaign, only Joe Scarborough of Morning Joe recognized it as such. But he waved it along, another pokey puppy of slow-logicked RDJT. Ho hum. Most people who call themselves Christians nowadays are actually pretend Christians, so they failed to see the problem at all. I won’t name names, except for Jerry Falwell Jr., Newt Gingrich, Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham and Greg Gianforte. Just a few.
But outside the theological sin of RDJT‘s casual confession there’s a big whopping psychological glitch, way more disturbing and substantial. It proves a mindset that believes itself incapable of error.
For five years RDJT spread the racist lie that Barack Obama was not born in the US and was a “scam” president. He shouted this lie gleefully until two months ago, when he decided it was no longer convenient. He gave no explanation why he changed his mind. That, after all, would remind folks he changed his mind.
Last November President Obama graciously invited RDJT to the White House. It was a perfect opportunity for a full mea culpa. But RDJT did not apologize. He has no honor. Apologizing, after all, is an act of atonement from one human being to another, an admission that I have wronged you, unjustly, and I seek forgiveness. RDJT would have to accept that he made a mistake.
RDJT does not make mistakes. Because RDJT believes he is a god, not a man.
Conservative godfather William F. Buckley warned of the dangers of solipsism. That’s a conceit where there’s no objective morality, the only focus of morality is Me, the individual. Who cares if a foreign dictator murders journalists? “We kill people too,” RDJT told Joe Scarborough with a shrug.
See? There’s no moral difference between Vladimir Putin or Kim Jung-Un or Adolf Hitler and any American president. Ten Commandments? If Satan says nice things about RDJT why shouldn’t he be nice in return?
We have handed control of the greatest military the world has ever known to an amoralist, a narcissist, a guy who cheats little kids.
No one knows what kind of a god would answer the prayers of RDJT, but when it pauses to scratch behind one of its four legs, perhaps it might accidentally loose a thunderbolt where it will help most.
Two years ago, or three major terrorist attacks ago, I wrote about what I thought motivated most ‘radical Islamic terrorists.’ For the recent atrocity in Orlando, the analysis still fits.
The book that best explains the rise of “radical Islamic terrorists” wasn’t written 1,400 years ago. It was written 60 years ago by American philosopher Eric Hoffer.
The book’s called The True Believer. Written in 1951, this classic text examines how society’s losers are attracted to mass movements. Mass movements allow lost individuals to redefine themselves.
Thanks to believing in a Cause, the loser is no longer a failed rap star, a failed cop, or a failed security guard, they’re a mighty warrior. They’re fighting for a Cause. The Cause cleanses them, makes them new and real. They matter.
Are you a failed Viennese painter who has to live on the charity of kindly Jews? Well, Nazism has the key to personal success for you, Herr Hitler! Can’t make it in the movies or radio? Italian Fascism will give you a spiffy new uniform and handsome strut, Signore Mussolini!
The Cause allows a new morality, different from the believer’s old morality, which was what kept them back. Because the Cause has a New Morality, the Only Morality. It allows a “revaluation of all values,” as Crazy Fred Nietzsche might put it. That’s needed because everything today is corrupt and rotten. The whole thing has to be destroyed! “The radical and the reactionary loath the present,” Hoffer wrote.
This is true whether the cause is God (voted most popular), or the Cause is vaguely described as History. Either way, no action is too extreme, no unjustifiable act is unjustifiable. Lying is not lying. Killing is not murder.
After all, my enemy is on the side of the Devil. Lying to the Devil can’t be a bad thing, but a good thing. So when I lie to an Unbeliever I’m actually doing God’s work.
“Today I believe that I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator: by defending myself against the Jew, I am fighting for the work of the Lord,” Hitler wrote at the end of the second chapter in Mein Kampf.
Even the content of the Cause is largely irrelevant, Hoffer argued. Mussolini began as a Communist, then switched sides seeing the fascists were better organized. Hitler started out as a police spy against the Nazis. Stalin took training as an Orthodox Russian Church monk.
Not all mass movements are bad, Hoffer pointed out. The American Revolution and the Indian Independence movement were also mass movements. So was the Labor Movement, the Women’s Movement, etc.
The sick dogs calling themselves Islamic radicals come from all countries and all walks of life. They are Muslims the same way Donald Trump is a Christian – by race or nationality. The only thing uniting these terrorists is not a sense of religious duty but a sense of inferiority, which they earned.
We’re just telling truth to evil
[It was comedian Bill Maher who named the orangeman running for President of the United States on Friday, May 26.]
Who is Pumpkinhead, and why is he in the news so much?
What ensorcellment allowed this monster to climb forth from his pumpkin patch, sunder his skin of gourd, tear loose the vines of earthblood, sprout legs in mockery of humans, and befoul the world with his incomprehensible words? Which witch is responsible for this? C’mon, spill the beans.
Was it you, Samatha Stevens? Or perhaps your bitter mother, Endorra? Maybe your teenage daughter Tabitha? Long Island Medium Theresa Caputo? Smell a reality show in this? Take off before we drop a house on you all.
Damned be the beldam who cursed mankind with this unkind nest of resentment, racism and lies!
And what of his military expertise?
Pumpkinhead craves mortal acclaim. His military expertise was gained in his youth at a toy soldier school. It wa
s a military style boot camp where rich kids get sent by domineering fathers. The type of poor rich kids Shirley Temple helped out. Pumpkinhead says he got “more training militarily than a lot of the guys that go into the military.”
This will come in handy when he controls the greatest military machine the world has ever seen. Better than that loser Sen. John McCain, who was loser enough to get caught in the Vietnam War. McCain, ten years older than Pumpkin, spent five years locked in a cage by the Communists.
There McCain endured five years of torture, by fist, boot and hate. He was beaten and tortured to coerce him into denouncing his country, so it could used in propaganda videos. He refused. Not everyone did.
No matter to Pumpkinhead. He’s only a hero because he got caught and suffered. The Pumpkin suffered through two wives who got old, fat and ugly. He’s got an option on this last one, but so far okay.
A concerned citizen, I recently sent this letter to the Billings Gazette. I am hopelessly O.S.:
A witch is coming to Billings, but instead of burning her at the stake as we should, we’re letting her put on a big whoop-de-do show at the Metra.
Teresa Caputo calls herself the Long Island Medium and says she talks to dead people. Now why would you want a job like that?
Anyone who has read their Bible knows the story of Saul and the witch of Endor. It doesn’t end well let me tell you, and concludes ‘suffer not a witch to live.’ So that’s good enough for me. And the avenging wrath of Yahweh.
I wrote my city council members to remind them of our biblical duty to burn witches. I also wrote to the Billings Chamber of Commerce. I suggested a special witch-burning festival to put the Magic City on the map. We could call it “Hey New York City – your Medium is Well Done.”
They all just handed my letters over to the police. They thought I was a nut.
Well I’m not a nut. I’m only a nut about the Bible, yet I get unjustly persecuted whenever I demand more unjust persecutions. The popularity of this kind of sin is what will make Ted Cruz president.
I admit I should know better. After all, our great country started going downhill when we gave women the right to vote. President Ted Cruz will fix that too, brother!
By Lance Grider
Today I am 60 years old. Here is all I know. It is my favorite Shakespeare sonnet, number 29. It was recommended to me 30 years ago by my friend Ripley Hugo:
When, in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featur’d like him, like him with friends possess’d,
Desiring this man’s art and that man’s scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven’s gate;
For thy sweet love remember’d such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings
I think Bill Shakespeare is the tops. Seriously – he is at least 50 percent greater than Kanye West. How can life not be worth living when there’s treasure like this just lying around?
I have no other particular wisdom to offer anyone at this time.